


right here, right now

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Slow Burn, Songwriting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 13:46:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3070400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Let’s do it then,” Liam tells him.</p><p>“Really?” Louis says, anticipation building in his bones. He bites back a smile that’s threatening to take over his face, but gives up when Liam nods and sets down his takeout container.</p><p>“Yeah, I want to see where this goes, you and I,” Liam says, and Louis bursts. He tackles him down to the couch, limbs tangled as he hugs his best friend close. His <i>best friend</i>, he thinks, he’s his best friend again, and they’re doing this together.</p><p>“Let’s do it,” Louis echoes into the fabric of Liam’s shirt against his shoulder. “You and I.”</p><p>--</p><p>Liam and Louis go solo. They're there for each other. 100%.</p>
            </blockquote>





	right here, right now

**Author's Note:**

> "liam and louis would build an empire founded on love."  
> as always, thank you to autumn you're the best. thank you to sam as well who pushed me through this and also rai for britpicking this! you're all superstars and this fic would've been 3k without everyone who listened to me whine and cry while i wrote this. any remaining mistakes are my own. this is just a mess, forgive me later. also, i'm not a songwriter. enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> [(a very cheesy and way too cliche playlist of songs that helped me along the way)](http://open.spotify.com/user/zouiam/playlist/1lLhwJp3h6b9eJekH5QZ1j)

Louis is shaking with nerves.

He watches Liam wear a pout he would’ve never known he missed until then if he hadn’t done it, an empty container of something in his hand as he turns it over to shake nothing out.

“What?” Louis says, clicking the pen in his hand. Normally, he wouldn’t, because Liam used to tell him it irritated him whenever he clicked a pen and Liam was trying to concentrate on writing. The last time he told him was when they were writing “Spaces” together in Liam’s bedroom one night on a day off. Louis supposes he doesn’t quite mind anymore. It has been three years, after all. Or, maybe, he just doesn’t have it in him to care anymore. Louis hopes it’s not the latter.

“No sugar,” Liam says, pauses, then, “for my tea.”

Louis goes to say something snarky, but Liam is stopping a waitress before he can, asking her politely, “Excuse me? Do you happen to have any sugar packets?”

“No,” Louis interrupts before the waitress can reply. He looks at her, smiling sweetly enough for Liam’s tea, but anyone in a ten mile radius could tell how faux it is. “He doesn’t need sugar, it’s fine.”

Liam looks offended. His lips curl into a frown when the waitress shrugs and walks off, then he looks at Louis, kicking his shin under the table. Louis kicks him back, though, and their legs go back to being still as he sits up a little straighter.

“Oi,” Louis huffs, “stop it. Sugar in tea is disgusting. You should know by now not to do that around me.”

Ignoring him, Liam asks, “Are you going to tell me why you made me fly out to Los Angeles and sit in a Denny’s at one in the bloody morning?”

Louis feigns offence, draping his hand over his heart. He isn’t hurt, really. At least he doesn’t think he is. “We haven’t seen each other in a year, Leem, and this is how you treat me when we finally see each other again?” he says, frowning back at his friend—friend. He isn’t quite sure if he can call Liam that anymore. It’s only been a year since they’ve seen each other. Two since they saw eye to eye.

“I just want to talk,” Louis tells him finally, looking slightly distraught, but he wipes his face clean of expression seconds later as he sets his pen on top of a worn down notebook. “Haven’t talked in a while and I—I miss you, alright?”

“You,” Liam starts, eyes disbelieving, “missed me.” It isn’t a question. It’s a statement he’s parroting as he watches Louis’ face, searching for some sort of joke or lie or prank he’s so used to Louis having tucked away in his pocket or the corners of his lips. Louis hopes deep down that he isn’t waiting for him to jump and shout _Ha! Gotcha! You can go home now,_ because that’s not the case. Not this time. He thinks briefly of the time he was lying on Liam’s bed, head in Liam’s lap as Liam stared down at him with something like fond curiosity settled in his eyes. He asked him, “What?” and Liam shook his head before he grabbed his pen and scribbled _there’s a devil in your smile that’s chasing me_ on Louis’ arm, the one clean of tattoos, then, _and every time I turn around, it’s only gaining speed_ on a napkin when his canvas on Louis’ arm had no more space.

Louis draws his lips into a line and crosses his arms over his chest. “Yes, is that a crime?” he questions, frowning again when Liam scoffs, but shakes his head.

“No, ‘course not. Just surprised, is all,” Liam tells him and shrugs his shoulders.

“Well, okay,” Louis says. “I missed you. Ever since—ever since we all went our separate ways, I don’t see a lot of you guys. I mean, I see Zayn a few times a month, but that’s it. Haven’t seen Harry in a month, Niall in two, and you in—“

“In a year, I know,” Liam finishes for him, twirling a spoon in his hand against the table idly as he looks down instead of up, at Louis.

“I miss you,” Louis says again, like his voice box is a broken record and all he wants to do is let Liam _know_ that he misses him. That he’s missed him for quite some time now. “Ever since you went into hiding with Sophia, thought we were like—truly finished, y’know?”

Louis’ heart twists in his chest when he watches Liam’s face turn glum. He hopes he hasn’t set him off, or flipped some switch. That’s the last thing he wants to do when finally seeing Liam after so long.

“Sophia and I split,” says Liam, finally, and Louis does all he can to stop from crawling over the table and pulling Liam into his arms. The feeling settles in his chest and he feels so guilty for some reason, feels like he should’ve been there like Liam was for him when he and Eleanor split a year after the band did. It was right before Liam and Louis metaphorically split, too, and he just wants things to get better now.

“I’m sorry,” he tells him soothingly. His hand shakes, slightly, with the need to reach out and touch Liam’s. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve come over, to wherever you were, would’ve let you cry on my shoulder, only if you’d told me she broke up with you.”

Liam flips back to stern, finally meeting Louis’ eyes. “I broke up with her. Or, it was mutual,” he corrects. “Okay? There was no crying. I’m fine, she’s fine, everything is fine.”

Louis refrains from letting Liam know everything doesn’t seem fine. He can’t tell if it’s just because the air between them is thick with voices yelling _Nothing is fine, nothing has been fine for two years_ or not.

Instead, he nods, trying to let Liam know he understands and that he won’t talk about it anymore. Liam deflates, tension free as relief paints his face; he’s surprised Liam still knows how to pick up whatever he’s putting down. He’s known how to read Louis’ face, Louis’ actions, known what words the corners of Louis’ lips are writing down whenever they speak to each other, yet say no words, for years now. Louis wonders if he’ll always be able to do that. He wants to still be able to send Liam a look, so that to anyone else, it’s just two friends staring at each other, but to them, it’s a novel being silently written and passed back and forth so nobody else knows what secrets they have for each other.

“I—I missed you, too, in case you were wondering,” is what Liam says to break Louis free of his thoughts and Louis tries so, so hard not to let out a noise close to a sob. He feels a pang deep in his chest before he feels his shoulders relax and it’s like he can breathe again. He’s been replaying the look on Liam’s face when he told him he was better off without him, that they didn’t need each other anymore, ever since he called him and asked him to come and visit. It’s broken his heart each time. He didn’t mean it—never will mean, he just wishes there was a way to make Liam believe that. He’s hoping he will, soon.

“I’m sorry for everything,” he spits out. He doesn’t mean to say it, not yet at least. But for a year, there’s been something gnawing at his gut, something that isn’t pleasant and he just needs his Liam back. “Like, ever since two years ago. That everything, that’s what I’m sorry for.”

“Don’t, okay?” Liam tells him.

Louis shakes his head. “I have to apologise, Liam, I—I ruined everything we’d built together. All because I was selfish—and prideful—hurt—and a complete arse, Liam. Just let me apologise, okay?”

Liam stares at him. For once, his face is completely unreadable to Louis. He feels his throat swell at the thought. It’s too soon to be losing Liam this way. But, then—

“You did have your head a bit far up your arse,” Liam says, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he snickers at Louis. Louis feels himself rise above the clouds a bit because Liam is _smiling._ He is smiling and laughing slightly and it makes Louis feel like he’s drinking water in the desert after years of none. “But, so did I, so I can’t blame you,” Liam adds, and the smile on his face seems so genuine, Louis feels like crying. He hasn’t seen Liam look at him like that since they wrote “Fireproof” together. It feels so nice, feels like home.

“I want it back,” Louis tells him, finally. The words have been scratching at his throat for what feels like forever and he looks at Liam hopefully as he chews on the inside of his cheek. “I know—I know I said that it would be stupid to carry on, you and I, what we did, because One Direction was over, but that was stupid by itself. We always had something else outside of the band. It was just me and you. That’s why I called you. I—Can we start writing again?”

Louis sucks in a breath. He’s nervous, and wonders if Liam can tell. He wants nothing more than for Liam to say yes as his fingers tremble over his notebook, pen wobbling in his hand.

“Is that what you brought?” Liam is asking, suddenly. His eyes are fixed on the notebook and Louis laughs, nervously.

“Yeah,” he confirms. “Our notebook.”

“Thought you’d have thrown it away, after all that happened,” Liam says quietly, and yeah, Louis would’ve thought so too. So much happened—too much. It was an array of messes from the first time he and Liam had a proper row. All Liam wanted to do was be with Louis, wanted to know what they’d do once One Direction was over and he didn’t want to lose him. Since all the nights they spent in each other’s presence, writing down every word that came to their minds as they watched each other’s eyes change moods were in the past now. Louis threw it all away because he felt full of himself, felt like he was being smothered by Liam, and his head was too big to realise that Liam meant it when he wrote down _there’s a future in my life I can’t foresee, unless of course I stay on course and keep you next to me._ He didn’t realise it until a week before, when he found _their_ notebook in a mess of his things and his fingers ghosted over the words Liam scribbled down so long ago.

Louis was stupid to think he could do Post-One Direction by himself. He thought writing songs came to him naturally, that he could do it by himself, but he didn’t realise until recently that there was one reason he couldn’t even write down one line unless there was a certain someone by his side giving him all the inspiration. He wanted to do it alone, until he realised he couldn’t.

He misses it now. He misses the way he felt whenever he wrote down words to songs that only he and a few select people knew the meaning of. He misses the look on Liam’s face whenever they finally finished writing a song. He misses the way their eyes would light up in sync when they got the approval of anyone else.

There are songs in their notebook that never made it onto the albums, and some that no one heard other than them. Those are their songs, the ones they wrote and silently declared as their secret.

Louis misses it more than anything. He hopes Liam does, too.

“I couldn’t,” he tells Liam, shaking his head. “I won’t. Not unless you want me to.”

Liam shakes his head. “Don’t,” he commands. “Keep it. We might—we might need it.”

Louis inflates slightly with hope as he looks at Liam, cocking his head to the side as he slides the notebook and pen over. “We could start over,” he says gently. “Be like, a proper Lennon and McCartney .”

Louis waits. Liam is so silent, so mysterious, and it scares him a bit. He feels his heart sink when Liam goes, “Nah,” and wants to slide out of the booth and hide forever. But then, Liam adds, “We could be better.”

Grinning, Louis thinks, _yeah, we definitely could._

 

* * *

 

 

“I missed this,” Louis is saying one night, a week after he and Liam made the agreement to try and pick up where they left off. Things weren’t as awkward as Louis thought they’d be. Liam stayed at his place in Los Angeles, the one Harry convinced him to get after the band split. He stayed for a few days, not doing any proper songwriting, just writing down random words and texting each other the lines of songs even though they were always in the same room. Louis thought nothing of it whenever Liam sent him something like _it’s always been you_ and he’d send back something along the lines of _and I’ll always love you_.

They went back to London, together, a week later. They were papped in the airport for the first time in _so long_ and Louis couldn’t wipe the grin off his face when he read the headlines the next morning: _Ex-Boybanders Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson Reunited?_ They definitely were, definitely back together.

Louis is sighing happily now, head hanging off the side of Liam’s bed as he watches Liam upside down in a chair at a desk that looks new. He’s definitely never seen it before.

“What,” he hears Liam reply, looking up from his notebook, “this? You haven’t done anything yet.”

“You know what I mean, though,” Louis tells him, rolling his eyes as he rolls off the bed and crawls to stand up next to Liam. “Like, _this_. Us, all the procrastinating we used to do whenever we were writing songs. And then we’d finally spit out number one hit singles. Don’t you miss it?”

Liam looks up at him warily, the same way he used to do back on the X-Factor whenever Louis acted wild. He always looked at him like Louis was fire and he was contemplating whether to touch or not. Louis has definitely grown accustomed to the look; it makes him feel warm, like every day with Liam is a new one, back in the beginning.

“Guess so,” Liam finally says and Louis almost sighs in relief as he laughs, sitting down on the floor next to Liam.

“Y’know, I’ve gotten a few texts from the other boys, asking me what happened between us,” Louis tells Liam randomly whilst he picks at the fabric of Liam’s carpet. He smiles childishly when Liam kicks at his foot gently to try and get him to stop. “They were pretty surprised to see us back in each other’s presence.”

Liam gives a small chuckle. “So was I,” he says, honestly.

“Shut up,” says Louis, rolling his eyes again as he pushes himself back off the floor, staring down at their notebook on Liam’s desk. “Have you gotten anything written yet?” he asks. Then, “I mean, we really don’t have to, not yet. Not with all those other songs we wrote a while back without Julian’s help. Anyone’s help, for that matter. We could just—just revise those, y’know?”

Louis watches Liam stare at him again, then shrug his shoulders as he flips through the pages of their notebook, smiling a bit fondly at all of the petulant scribbles and drawings of dicks around the edges. In between all of it, though, are words so much more serious, speaking of troubled hearts and people in love and different things that Louis doesn’t quite remember the meaning behind anymore. These songs are different than the ones they wrote with the rest of the band, different than sitting down and professing their love for KFC. Louis remembers the few lines he wrote in a song about how much he loves someone and at first, he would’ve thought it was about Eleanor, but then he realised it was more about a best friend that’s always at his side. They wrote that song together, for each other.

“Think we could start there, yeah,” Liam says, then clicks his pen as he flips to a blank page.

They move to the bed together, lying on their stomachs as they try to come up with a way to work their old songs into something new. It’s hours before they realise that they’re just slightly rusty. Louis is lying on his back now, gazing up at the ceiling as he lets out a heavy sigh.

“What about—what about that one song we wrote in your hotel room whilst we were in South America? The one about new beginnings, or something. We could work with that one,” Louis suggests, turning to look at Liam as he raises his brow.

“Relates, yeah?” Liam tells him, laughing before he flips to the page with the song Louis is talking about. Louis smiles faintly and reaches up to trace the doodle of something on the page. He doesn’t really know what it is anymore, it might be a smiley face, but it looks more like a grimace than anything else.

They sit, talking over the song and taking bits and pieces as they finally come up with a few more lines that might fit. Two hours later when they’ve got a song that might be too long, they cut some of it down, then the remnants of it make Louis ablaze with excitement.

“It’s midnight,” Liam says, voice quiet and gentle so he doesn’t shake the atmosphere they’ve built around themselves.

“Midnight memories,” Louis snickers. They smile at each other for a few seconds, and if Louis were feeling slightly sane right now, he’d truly believe that he and Liam were inching close to each other because when Liam says, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” it feels like it’s right there against his lips. It’s odd, but Louis doesn’t think he wants to stop moving closer.

He glances down, then up to meet Liam’s eyes. “Definitely.”

“Good,” Liam says louder, suddenly, as he rolls off his bed and onto his feet. “I’ve not had KFC in weeks and I’m absolutely starved. There’s a twenty-four hour one down the street.”

And, well, that’s not exactly what Louis was thinking, but it’ll make do for now.

* * *

 

Louis wakes up to an array of texts from the rest of the band members—what used to be the rest of the band members. Now they’re just his best friends, he supposes. The first one Louis sees is one from Zayn, and it says  _what the hell???????_ followed by a text from Niall that is just a simple  _wtf_ . Then he finally sees Harry’s and Liam’s. Harry’s is just a simple photo captioned with  _?_ and when he examines the photo, it’s a picture of  _The Sun_ ’s front page with the headline  _ONE DIRECTION BACK TOGETHER?_ above a photo of Liam and Louis at the airport the other night, and then another of them when they were getting food half past midnight.

He smiles tightly, taking a deep breath before he exits Harry’s text to finally open Liam’s.

_come over 4 brekkie? got yorkshire :)_

Louis swells slightly to himself and his smile loosens as he sits up in bed, yawning and stretching his arms over his head with his phone in his hand. He isn’t surprised at all that Liam’s text has managed to make him relax and not worry about the worried texts their friends have sent him. He’s almost positive they sent Liam the same thing too, but he still invited him over and it makes Louis happy.

He gets up and heads to the loo to splash some water over his face and clean his teeth before he changes into a clean shirt and a pair of joggers. He slips from his home unnoticed, hopefully, before he heads to Liam’s. Even after all this time, he knows the way to Liam’s house like the directions are written on the back of his hand or his heart is constantly beating with purpose to just be near Liam again, so he just _knows_.

Louis gets to Liam’s a bit after nine, letting himself in while calling out for Liam. He immediately regrets it when he hears a crash and then Liam cursing from the kitchen.

“Bloody hell,” comes Liam’s voice, and Louis follows it into the kitchen where Liam is cleaning up a broken mug and tea spilt on the white linoleum. Louis can’t help but snicker and he finally gets Liam to look up, a glare in his eyes. “This is your fault,” he sneers.

“I didn’t drop the tea, Payno,” says Louis as he snickers. “You did.”

“Yeah, but you scared me which caused this catastrophe, _so_ ,” Liam argues, but Louis can tell his demeanour is quickly deteriorating as he bats his eyelashes the way he did in Japan to get Liam to let him pour tea into a cup on the top of his head.

“You’re being a baby,” Louis tells him then, hopping onto the island to watch Liam clean up the last of the mess. “A little bit of spilt tea never hurt anyone.”

Liam scoffs. “Yes, but the broken mug might,” he shoots back. Louis laughs at this, and he laughs harder when Liam joins him. There are no words to describe how bad he’s missed this. How bad he missed laughing and laughing with Liam. It was always so genuine with him, and still is.

“That was your mug, by the way,” Liam tacks on as he smirks over at Louis. Louis just flips him the bird and hops down off the counter so he can get a new mug to prepare himself a new cuppa.

He sips on it slowly once he has, then sighs delightfully, eyes closed as he basks in the warmth that blossoms in his chest. “Best,” he mumbles against the lip of the cup.

“Got it this morning,” Liam informs him, preparing his own mug. Louis can’t help but smile to himself. He doesn’t know whether to believe that Liam went out and bought his favourite tea just for him, just to make him smile, or not, but he does deep down anyway as his eyes shine over the lip of his mug at Liam.

Louis thanks him, then swallows down the rest of the tea, enjoying the dull burn it leaves in its tracks. They sit and chat, and Liam turns on his stereo in the kitchen so they can find out who sings their old songs more annoyingly whilst he cooks them breakfast. In the end, Louis wins after wailing the lines of “What Makes You Beautiful,” like always. He wonders when Liam started just letting him win.

“I was thinking we start working in a proper studio,” Liam is saying later on, mouth stuffed to the brim with pancakes so that Louis barely catches what he says. He deciphers it quickly and hums, shrugging his shoulders.

“That would be neat,” he comments. “Still got ties to people that can help us, I suppose.”

“Want to call up Julian and Jamie?” Liam asks him.

Shrugging again, Louis looks down at his plate and rearranges his pancakes into a smiley face. He smiles back at him and proceeds to eat one of its eyes. “Think we should wait,” he answers after a few moments. He looks up and the pout Liam is wearing asks him, “Why?” so he laughs quietly, shaking his head. “You’re telling me no one texted you this morning?”

“Oh,” Liam says simply. “Well, yeah. I woke up to a dozen texts, actually.”

Louis nods. “Think we should just make it clear that the band is definitely over before we start doing stuff with each other,” he tells Liam. He finishes off his pancakes and sets his plate aside, leaning back in his chair to stick his belly out, giving it a small pat. “And I want to process all this tea and pancakes before we get any real business started, Payno. I didn’t think you’d be so excited to do anything since we haven’t really—really, y’know, talked about things yet? We’ve just been writing here. And that was only one night. Also thought you were a bit angry with me still.”

Louis watches fondly as Liam laughs, then nods his head in agreement whilst the pancakes disappear from his own plate. He’s lost count of all the things he’s missed now, like just spending time with Liam without doing anything. Around Liam, he doesn’t feel like an ex-boybander or someone the media still focuses on because he was and always will be a member of One Direction to everyone else. But not to the other boys, and definitely not Liam. It was never like that with Liam. He feels like Liam’s friend, like he can forget about anything else if he wants to. It’s almost as if his mind sweeps everything out and creates a shrine in the deepest corners of his mind with a plaque that says _Liam’s Spot_.

“Can’t stay mad at you for long, now can I?”

Louis is quite sure it’s a rhetorical question, but he feels his body buzz because he hasn’t lost Liam completely. He really hopes he isn’t anywhere close to.

 

* * *

 

What happened between Liam and Louis was rash. Louis knows it was, always will be, and he regrets everything that happened. It was his fault and it’s still his fault that he has a part of their relationship to win back.

There was the year after One Direction split up. That year was okay. Everything was fine.

At the end of that year, though, a spark was created, a spark that started the fire that soon split Liam and Louis apart. Things weren’t okay anymore. Louis told Liam something he didn’t mean one night when Liam pulled out the notebook— _their_ notebook. Louis was heartbroken, sullen and just wanted to be alone after his breakup with Eleanor. Liam was there for him and he shoved him away, could see the sorrow in his eyes each time Louis told him to leave him alone. When Liam pulled out their notebook, he told him to sod off, that writing his feelings out was stupid and writing with _him_ was even more senseless.

Louis shut Liam out. It was a thoughtless, selfish move.

Before the third year, the fire was blazing, and it burned everything to the ground. Louis doesn’t know why or how he allowed it to happen, but it did, and he wishes he could go back in time and get back the year he threw away because his head was swelled to the size of a something too big. He wishes he could go back and stop himself from telling Liam he didn’t need a writing partner anymore, that he didn’t need him anymore.

“Lou, c’mon, we haven’t written anything in a while,” Liam had said and Louis still remembers the ache laced in his voice when he said it. “Don’t you miss it?”

“No,” Louis told him. He lied, he knows he did, now. He wishes he knew it then. “Just forget it, Liam,” he added and pretended the look on Liam’s face didn’t make his heart twinge. “One Direction has been over for two years now.”

“So, what? That means we can’t hang out anymore? Means you have to forget I exist half the time?” Liam spat.

“If that’s what you want, Liam, then fine,” Louis said. His eyes held something close to a glare.

 Liam made a noise that neared a whine, or maybe a whimper; Louis still isn’t quite sure.

“That isn’t what I want. I just want to be your bloody friend again,” Liam told him and his voice sounded small, too small for Louis’ liking.

“You want to write with me,”Louis corrected. “And that’s a stupid idea. Move on, Liam, we’re better off without each other.”

Louis will never know what compelled him to say those things to Liam, will never know what made him think it was okay to watch Liam’s eyes grow wet before he choked out a, “Fine,”and left him be. At the time, that’s what he finally wanted. Now he knows that’s never what he needed.

 

* * *

 

“Last time I checked, you two hated each other.”

Louis is sat in Niall’s living room, lounging on a settee next to Liam whilst Niall, Zayn and Harry sit across from them. Louis glares at Niall, sighing as he crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes at his comment.

“We never hated each other, Niall,” he retorts. Although his face is expressionless, he knows it’s sending off a message that tells Niall to shut up before he regrets it, in an _I’ll pinch your nipple if you don’t_ kind of way. “We just had a falling out. A row.”

“A row that caused you lads to stop talking for an entire year,” Zayn pipes up and Louis redirects his glare to him.

“We needed space, okay?” he tells him and feels slightly guilty when Liam somewhat cowers down into the seat, not saying a word. Louis supposes he can’t speak for Liam, but obviously if Liam made no attempt to contact him either, he felt the same way about what happened between them anyway. At least he hopes so.

“Louis’ right,” Liam finally says to them, pulling himself back up beside Louis. Louis looks at him, smiling faintly as he nudges him with his elbow.

“See, lads? No need to worry,” Louis says and hears a chorus of scoffs in return. “Really, what the hell?”

“Louis,” Harry’s gentle, slow voice starts. Louis’ always admired how soft he is. How just talking to him feels like swimming through molasses and makes you see the wise soul buried underneath the youngest of them all. “You know you have to tell everyone that One Direction isn’t really getting back together, right? They’re really having it out on Twitter.”

Louis groans, like the child he is in a twenty-six year old body, rolling his eyes. “Oh my god, you lot are still on that, aren’t you?” he asks them. When they stay silent, just staring at him thoughtfully, he huffs and shakes his head whilst pulling out his phone. “Fine, okay.”

He opens up Twitter to create a new tweet. He taps against the screen before sending out a simple tweet, then hears the other boys’ phones ding with notifications.

_@Louis_Tomlinson: aha youre all hilarious ! one direction isn’t getting back together , sorry :( just two mates catching up ! @real_liam_payne lad ha !_

“Was that really hard for you all?” Louis berates and glares at his friends. “Can’t believe you’ve dragged me and Liam away from official business to deal with this baby problem, lads. Can we go now?”

“No,” Zayn tells him. He frowns, leaning back in his chair next to Liam. He hopes his behaviour tells them he was anticipating his time with Liam quite a lot, before they rudely called them over to Niall’s house. “What’s this ‘official business’? Louis, you said—“

“I know what I said, Zayn,” Louis interrupts before Zayn can repeat anything he told him about Liam, about what happened, in that year he and Liam spent apart. “That’s in the past now. We got to talking and now—now we’re writing again. Okay?”

“Without us?” Harry asks, frown on his face, and Louis nearly coos.

“Yes, Harold, without you three,” Louis tells him, sighing. “It’s not that big, I was just messing around with the ‘official business’ mumbo jumbo. No need to worry, yeah?”

“Why aren’t you letting Liam speak then?” Louis hears Niall ask and he looks to see him staring at him oddly, then Niall raises his brow, arms crossed over his chest. Louis pouts at this, then looks at Liam to find him looking apprehensively amongst them all.

“Li,” he says, voice soft, “do you want to explain what’s going on between us?”

Liam shrugs, looking at them all before he just hums. “What Lou said,” he tells them. “Just messin’ around, yeah? Catching up, lads being lads. Writing again is just part of it.”

Louis smiles. He’s glad Liam isn’t opposing it now, and just hopes he’s okay with everything else being brought up by the others. “See,” he says to the other three. “We’re fine. Can we go now, though? We’re meeting up with Julian later on today, would like to eat before we do.”

“Bulian?” Harry chirps, brows high.

Louis only nods his head, then gets no response.

The other three stare at them, gazes cagey, and Louis can’t help but sigh again and stand up. He grabs Liam’s hand to haul him up. “Well, seeing as our gathering here is over, we’ll be heading off, now,” he announces and pulls Liam across the living room, towards the door. “Was lovely seeing you lads, we’ll have to do it again.” He wonders if they can hear the sarcasm in his voice. It’s not that he doesn’t love seeing them, because he does, just not for petty things like this.

They say their goodbyes and Louis isn’t quite sure if his ears are working properly when he hears Zayn mumble something about “poor Liam’s let himself be put on a leash again,” as they walk out of the door. He pouts to the car and hopes deep down that Liam doesn’t see it that way. He doesn’t want to force Liam to be there. He could’ve said no that night in LA, if he wanted to. He has faith that Liam knows that, too.

When Liam’s silent as they get in the car, Louis frowns at him and doesn’t start the engine. “Hey,” he says gently, “you okay?”

Liam jerks his head slightly, then looks at Louis with two bushy eyebrows raised. “Huh? Oh, yeah,” he says and Louis’ frown deepens. He wonders if Liam’s forgotten that Louis can read him like a book.

“You’re not okay,” he pushes. “Tell Tommo what’s up. C’mon, we’re not leaving until you do.”

Louis fights back a smile when Liam gives him a peculiar look, watching him like he always has when Louis is acting strange. Louis just holds a look that tells him he’s one hundred percent serious and he’ll swallow the keys if he has to.

“Alright, fine,” Liam finally huffs, Adam’s apple bobbing as he looks at the dashboard of the car. “I just—I was thinking in there.”

“Oh no,” Louis teases, “that’s never good.”

“Oh, sod off,” Liam says grumpily. Louis finally cracks, snickering a bit before he waves his hand to let Liam continue. “I was thinking, and, well, what happened between us? Are you sure you didn’t hate me?”

Louis’ heart clenches a bit in his chest. The frown makes its way back on his face and his shoulders drop a bit, too, as he looks over Liam’s face. The expression on it is something close to the way it looked the same day he told Liam they were better off without each other. Louis hates it, hates how much it’s always popping back in his head and he feels like he’s kicked a puppy, or even worse—kicked Liam.

“No,” he answers at last. “I never hated you. Could never hate you, Payno.”

Liam makes a noise in his throat, but nods his head as he picks at the loose strings in the hole of his jeans. Louis holds back the remark in his throat about whether he’d been rummaging through Harry’s wardrobe or not.

“I mean it,” he adds. He can’t let Liam think he didn’t love him like he always has, always will, for just a second. “I was just angry at a lot of things, Leem. Promise you it had nothing to do with you—at least, not really. Mostly just me.”

Liam still looks disbelieving and Louis wants to pout like a child, wants to shake him and shout that he doesn’t hate him, never did, never will. But, instead, he just pulls his phone back out and types a few things into Google before a song starts to play.

“This song is five years old,” Louis tells Liam. He kicks the volume up all the way and Liam draws the same wary look on his face as Louis starts to sway to the beat. “Older than my baby siblings, Liam. This is just for you.”

Liam goes to speak, but Louis doesn’t let him as he starts singing—badly singing, screeching, “Elvis singing don’t be cruel, and I wonder if you feel it too…”

Louis finally manages to make Liam smile by the time he belts out, “Darling! If we go on, can it be the way it was!”

“Are you quite finished?” Liam groans, and Louis laughs as he lets the song continue for him, The Killers fading in the background when he turns the volume back down. Liam is finally laughing again, and it warms Louis’ heart when he watches his cheeks tint pink and crinkles form by the corners of his eyes. He resists the urge to start serenading him with “Little Things” just to tease him, but he’s almost sure it’d be less of a joke and more of something from his heart if he did.

“No more pouting,” Louis chastises. “You’re not a child, Liam Payne. I will not work with a baby,” he adds, refusing to admit to the irony of it as he finally starts the car.

“Says you,” Liam retorts, but it’s playful, and Louis doesn’t want the grin on his face to go away.

Smiling back, Louis laughs. “Replay,” he says simply.

Louis’ heart swells two times bigger when a light flickers in Liam’s brown eyes. Warmth spreads across his chest and his smile grows wider when Liam goes, “Says you.”

 

* * *

 

They don’t actually meet up with Julian, seeing as he’s home in California, but they do Skype him later on at Louis’ place. Louis doesn’t expect things to go as seriously as they do and Julian says things like “studio time,” “could work out well if you two take it seriously,” and “proper duet, yeah?”

Louis didn’t see it that way until Julian did, and he finds himself staring at Liam too closely as he mulls over the thought of them actually taking this seriously, actually pulling something out of this that would bring them back from One Direction’s permanent hiatus. But he feels like they could do it. He feels like he could do it, just as long as Liam is by his side. The top of the world would be too lonely without Liam there.

“Hey, staring is quite rude,” Liam’s says, pulling him out of his thoughts as he jerks his head to look Liam straight in the eye, slumping back against his sofa.

“Shit, sorry, mate,” Louis apologies and Liam just laughs, shaking his head as he smiles at Louis. Louis sends back a sheepish grin, humming. “Was just thinking.”

Liam looks at him thoughtfully, asking him, “About this? Us?”

Letting out a breath, Louis nods his head in response and rests it on the back of the couch. “How could I not?” And really, how could he not? He knows everything will be gnawing at the back of his mind until he’s certain what he and Liam are set to do.

“Right,” Liam says. “I get it, though. This is mad, yeah? I never thought we’d be back in this situation, and, well, I’m sort of excited, Lou.”

Louis beams a little at Liam. His eyes shine brighter than before and they both just stare at each other for a few moments because the aura of excitement around them both is enough that they don’t have to say anything else.

“Think we should listen to Julian? Take this seriously? No more late night runs to KFC or writing in my bedroom?” Liam asks next and Louis leans over to the coffee table to pick up a stray pen lying there.

“We’re adults now, Payno,” is all he says before he grabs Liam’s wrist, scribbling a giant _YES_ onto his skin. It’s temporary, not like his tattoos, but he knows that the meaning behind it isn’t. That’s one hundred percent permanent now, and he’s ready to dive head first into this with Liam. One hundred percent.

 

* * *

 

Maybe “serious” isn’t really the word for anything Liam and Louis decide to do. They wait a couple of weeks before Julian has the time to fly out to them, two weeks of writing childish songs about Louis’ smelly feet and all of the hair on Liam’s body. Louis isn’t quite sure why, but he didn’t feel the need to complain when Liam took off his shirt so he could take a closer look at all of the hair on his chest. It successfully made Louis choke on his spit and murmur at him to put his clothes back and something like, “Keep this PG, Leemo,” because Liam apparently never stopped going to the gym and _God_ , he looks amazing.

As soon as Julian gets there, though, he takes them by the reins and finally gets them to pay attention and stop acting like children. They use a few kind words, connections with friends, and maybe the fact that they’re ex-One Direction members to get studio time. Louis doesn’t admit aloud how much he missed spending time in a studio with other songwriters and actually getting things done. Of course, he has a reputation to maintain, one that portrays him as man-child, singer-songwriter Louis Tomlinson.

In a month’s time, Liam and Louis have three of their very own songs written and composed with the help of Julian and old friends. It takes a month of all-nighters and breaking their promise of no more late night runs to KFC and other fast food restaurants because their brains are working hard and they deserve a bit of it. Louis doesn’t know where all of the inspiration bloomed from, but it might’ve been just having his best friend back and maybe a line that goes _and I’d replay your smile for the rest of my days_ is about Liam, just maybe. Louis’ never felt so proud of himself before, and he’s almost certain it’s only because he’s managed to make Liam look happier than he’s ever seen him before.

“Get this,” Liam is saying one day as he walks into the studio they’ve booked to work on some songs. Louis is sat back in his chair with his feet kicked up on Jamie’s lap while Julian tinkers with the melody of their song on the soundboard and his laptop. “Beyoncé wants to buy one of our songs.”

Eyes widening, Louis sits up straight and scoffs at Liam. “Shut up,” he says. “You’re pulling my leg, Liam.”

Liam sputters out a laugh and nods his head. “Definitely, sorry, mate,” he tells him and Louis groans, throwing his empty cup at Liam’s head.

“I hate you,” Louis huffs. He frowns at Liam and crosses his arms over his chest like a child. “You had me excited there for a right second, Liam, that wasn’t funny.” Liam is still laughing, though, sitting down in his chair.

“Quite funny, but,” Liam starts, “someone does want to buy our song.”

Louis perks back up and raises a brow. “Really? Who?”

“Some new solo act,” Liam informs him. Louis smiles again. “Said she wants ‘Atomic Bomb.’ Think you want to sell it?”

Shrugging, Louis slides his chair over next to Julian, who’s working on said song. He asks him to play the song for them. The words aren’t there yet, but it sounds so, so good. He wants to hear a voice on it, maybe two. Two, definitely. He looks back at Liam with devious smile and nods his head towards the recording booth. “Want to record it ourselves before we do anything like that?” he asks him, earning a small pout.

“Thought we were only writing,” Liam tells him. Louis shrugs, standing up from his chair as he stretches out his bones.

“Don’t think it would hurt,” he says. He grabs Liam’s hand and tugs him up. “C’mon. Just for a laugh then?”

Liam looks wary. His eyes are shining with something Louis can’t quite read but then he nods slowly and lets Louis drag him into the booth.

He tells Julian to play the song for them, and once it starts, Louis feels his heart leap in his chest. He feels the music seep into his bones and there’s no way to describe how bad he’s missed doing this. They don’t even have a plan, so when Liam starts the song off, he lets him and decides they’ll just wing it. But watching Liam sing, watching him put his entire soul into it when he sings _you love like an atomic bomb_ almost makes him forget that he’s part of this too and he barely manages to squeeze himself in just in time for the chorus. He pours his all into it and even after three years, they sound so strong, and even stronger together.

As soon as the song ends, Louis is slightly out of breath, but he’s grinning brighter than the sun, the corners of his lips high on his face.

“That was actually—actually really good, guys,” Julian calls to them. It’s then that Louis realises he’s been watching Liam the entire time and when he finds Liam staring back, he quickly turns his head away with a small chuckle.

They leave the booth and smile proudly at the others in the room. “Mind making a copy of that for me? Might want to listen to it later on,” he tells Julian and Julian nods, fiddling around on his laptop whilst Louis sits back down next to Liam. “Exhilarating, yeah? Haven’t felt that since we recorded ‘Ready to Run’ between two mattresses,” he says, snickering.

Liam laughs too, nodding his head in agreement whilst he leans back in his chair. “Missed it,” he says.

Louis emits a noise from his throat. They sit and work for the rest of the day and he can’t get the way he and Liam sounded _together_ out of his head. It’s never been just the two of the them, but the more he replays the sound of it in his head, the more he wants.

 

* * *

 

The idea of making him and Liam an official thing nags at Louis for a week.

He plays the song after Julian sends it his way whenever he can, and maybe it’s too much. He plays it whilst he’s showering, whilst he’s cooking breakfast, and when he’s just lounging in his living room. He lets his and Liam’s voices soak his mind whilst he rides the tube some days just to get out.

He sometimes thinks he’s falling a bit in love with Liam’s voice, but then tells himself it’s the sound of his voice mixed with his own that he’s falling in love with. He never thought he’d want to do more, but he does and he doesn’t know how to bring it up to Liam. They’ve not got a record label, or a plan, but Louis supposes it wouldn’t be very hard to obtain either if they had help from friends, or Simon perhaps.

On a Saturday night, Louis is having dinner at Liam’s. He’s been enjoying spending time with him a little too much, and over the course of the couple of months and some weeks, he’s managed to move some of his clothes into Liam’s place along with his own toothbrush, too. He doesn’t think much of it, although he thinks he probably should.

“Hey,” Louis grumbles around his take out, slurping up his lo mein as he kicks his feet up onto Liam’s coffee table. When Liam grunts in response, he swallows down his food and a growing lump of nerves that caught in his throat. “I was, uh, thinking about our song,” he tells him slowly.

He looks up at Liam to find him watching him carefully. He doesn’t seem to be making any attempt to respond, so Louis continues. “And, I don’t think we should let anyone else have it.” Louis spits it out. He doesn’t want to wait too long so that their best song right now will no longer be theirs if they sell it to an amateur. He immediately feels guilty after that thought, but he brushes it aside.

Liam is staring at him solicitously now. Louis is nervous and a bit scared that Liam will turn down the offer. He has every right to, and Louis knows it. He knows that their past altercations might be something that’ll keep him from agreeing, but he’s been trying the entire time he’s had him back in his life to get him to believe that everything that happened was from hurt and anger on Louis’ behalf and doesn’t reflect on anything that he thinks of Liam now.

“So, what?” Liam asks finally. “You mean you want to, like, keep it for ourselves?”

Nodding, Louis finishes off his dinner. “Yeah, I suppose,” he says. “And maybe—maybe record our songs ourselves.”

Liam seems taken aback. Louis looks at him hopefully before adding, “But we don’t have to if you don’t want to, alright? We can still sell the song.”

Louis isn’t sure of what’s happening, what’s going to come from this, but then Liam is shaking his head and Louis tries his hardest to control the trembling grin on his lips.

“Let’s do it then,” Liam tells him.

“Really?” Louis says, anticipation building in his bones. He bites back a smile that’s threatening to take over his face, but gives up when Liam nods and sets down his takeaway container.

“Yeah, I want to see where this goes, you and me,” Liam says, and Louis bursts. He tackles Liam down to the sofa, limbs tangled as he hugs his best friend close. His _best friend_ , he thinks. Liam is his best friend again. And they’re doing this together.

“Let’s do it,” Louis echoes into the fabric of Liam’s shirt against his shoulder. “You and me.”

 

* * *

 

Whoever’s idea it was to leave Liam and Louis alone in a studio, by themselves, obviously wasn’t thinking straight.

Julian, John, and Jamie get hungry around sunset, and they actually invite Louis and Liam to come for dinner with them, but Louis is too busy pinning Liam to the ground as they try and “work.” Eventually, Julian leaves them with a promise that they’ll bring them something back and a roll of his eyes, muttering, “children” under his breath.

Louis doesn’t realise they’ve actually left until the door to their studio shuts and he looks up from where he’s pinning Liam’s wrists to the ground, his smaller hips digging into Liam’s to keep him grounded. “Shit,” he laughs and looks back down at Liam. “We’re alone now. Suppose we should actually start working?”

Louis’ hands go slack on Liam’s wrists and Liam uses it to his advantage so he can shove Louis off of him, finally climbing back to his feet. “Been wanting to work for half an hour now, Lou,” he huffs at him, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. Louis just sticks his tongue out at him and sits back down in his chair, rolling over to where he and Liam have their notebook open to a mostly blank page with “replay” written over and over at the top.

“You’ve gone and wasted a page, wanker,” Liam reprimands when he joins him at the notebook. “This notebook isn’t as big as you think it is.”

Louis goes to pout, but then there’s a light bulb shining bright above his head before he goes, “Replay.”

Liam frowns at him. “This—this notebook…”

“No, idiot,” Louis huffs, picking up his pen as he scribbles a few lines down, then slides the notebook in front of Liam. “Replay,” he repeats.

Liam reads over the page in the notebook, Louis watching him attentively, then he actually smiles. “I love you, replay, I love you, replay, I love you so.”

“Replay,” Louis laughs and leans closer to Liam. He’s slightly invading his space now, but he’s sure Liam doesn’t mind. He was just on top of him, straddling his hips, after all, and they were always this close before anyway. Full couches were always single chairs to them, if Louis remembers correctly.

“I’m not replaying,” Liam tells him, smiling amusedly. “But—I like it.”

Louis grins, biting at the inside of his cheek as he leans his head onto his hand and smiles fondly at Liam. His cheeks are still a little flushed from wrestling Louis on the floor a few moments before. Louis can’t help it when his mind wanders and thinks of how cute Liam looks with pink cheeks and a little smile on.

“Replay,” Louis says once more, and Liam rolls his eyes.

“I like it,” Liam recaps.

“Maybe,” Louis starts, “something like, kissing. ‘Kiss you once, replay, kiss you twice.’”

“Kissing replays, lovely idea,” Liam tells him. He finally looks up to meet Louis’ eyes and Louis swears he can feel Liam’s breath on his lips. His heart picks up speed in his chest and he feels his palms begin to sweat around his pen. He looks down at Liam’s lips, noting they’re slightly chapped and his mind veers to a thought along the lines of _that’s nothing a kiss can’t fix_. The territory is dangerous, and slightly odd for Louis. But, he can’t say they haven’t kissed before, because they have. It was completely by accident (or maybe it wasn’t), because they were going home for some amount of time and Louis was going to _miss_ Liam. So, he kissed him goodbye, right on the lips. It took Liam by surprise, and himself too, but Liam pulled him into a hug that squeezed the air from his lungs directly after, so nothing was damaged. They never spoke of it again, though.

Now, however, is different, and he can feel his body inching closer against his will. But, of course, just then the door to the studio crashes open. Louis jumps back and looks to see the others carrying in bags of fast food and drinks for the lot of them.

When Louis looks back at Liam, he finds Liam’s eyes are wide and his cheeks pinker than before. The heat in his own face only tells him that he must look the same.

“Of course,” Julian says. “No work done, am I right?”

Louis can’t speak. He doesn’t have to, though, because Liam clears his throat and lets Julian know that they’ve got a new idea for a song.

For the rest of the night, Louis stays silent for the most part, only speaking when he has to. Jamie teases and says it’s the quietest he’s ever heard Louis, but Louis can’t even force himself to laugh. His mind is still wrapped around Liam and his lips.

 

* * *

 

Louis thinks about his and Liam’s almost-kiss too much over the next few days. Every time they mention a kiss in a song, his mind runs back to the when he wanted to kiss Liam, chapped lips and all. He isn’t quite sure why he starts thinking about Liam in a way he would’ve never thought he would, but he can’t stop.

When he gets a break from the studio, he spends his time with Zayn finally, needing to get away from Liam and _breathe_.

“So, you two are starting your own mini One Direction,” Zayn says to him after Louis tells him all that he and Liam have been doing. They’re spread out across his couch, Hatchi and Teddy chasing each other in circles on the floor.

“No, Zayn,” he huffs and gets one of the dogs to come jump on his lap whilst the other whines up at him with jealousy. “We’re just—this is for fun, y’know? Maybe we’ll pop an album out, but that’ll be it. We’ll disappear after that, so definitely not like a mini One Direction.”

Zayn hums at him, but doesn’t say anything as he cuddles Teddy to his chest to stop her whining. Louis just sighs, petting over Hatchi’s head as they watch something boring on the telly.

“So,” he says when it gets too quiet for his liking. “How’s the married life? Been a year or summat, yeah?”

Louis looks to see Zayn nod his head, a faint smile now on his lips. He smiles back, but then Zayn says, “Life’s good, but you should know, yeah?”

His brows knit at this and he lets Hatchi hop off his lap in search of food, sweeping the dog hair off of him as he nudges Zayn with his foot. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.

Zayn shrugs in response, and Louis frowns, nudging him again and again until Zayn finally huffs and gives in. “It’s just a joke, mate, calm down,” he tells him, chuckling a bit. “Just that the lads and I always joked about you and Liam being the band parents. Acted bloody married all of the time, dates and things, then the poor lovely couple split,” he teases, laughing as Louis sinks down into the sofa.

He knows he was always a bit fond with Liam, but he never thought it was too much. Their outings weren’t dates, they were just lads being lads. He had Eleanor, and towards the end, Liam had Sophia. They never saw each other that way, but Louis just wishes he could say they never will without feeling something odd tug at his gut.

Louis spends the rest of his day at Zayn’s, only slightly there because the rest of him is off somewhere where the only thing he can think about is Liam. He isn’t sure if it’s a bad thing or a good thing anymore.

 

* * *

 

It takes two more weeks to get “Replay” written, composed, and recorded. They’re trying to develop this—whatever _this_ is—slowly. Louis wants to build everything they’re doing gradually. And between cuppas, Julian’s small trips home, and late night cuddles with Liam when Louis is too tired to comprehend how much he likes lying on Liam’s chest, it’s falling together perfectly.

Six months, over a hundred cuppas, maybe fifty trips to KFC, too many phone calls, one large group iMessage between all five members of what used to be One Direction, fifteen songs, a record label, and too many accidental almost-kisses later, Liam and Louis are finally in the last stages of developing their first album. Together.

They name the album _One Hundred Percent._ Julian calls the entire thing an emotional rollercoaster because between the songs about sex, love, heartbreak, and ones with no meaning, there’s a meaning to it as a whole, even though Louis has yet to figure it out himself.

A year prior, Louis was sitting in a Denny’s in Los Angeles at one in the morning, stopping Liam from getting sugar for his tea, and now he’s getting ready to sit down for his first interview with Liam since One Direction’s last one, explaining why the band was breaking up, getting ready to tell the world that Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne are _back_.

As soon as word got out, rumours flew and there were old One Direction fans tweeting at them like mad. Louis didn’t say anything, though, and neither did Liam. They’ve been waiting until now to finally give all details and Louis is _buzzing._

“Dapper,” Liam says when they’re finished navigating wardrobe and makeup. Louis smiles at Liam, his other half. “You look quite dashing.”

Louis waves him off and resists the urge to reach up and ruffle Liam’s hair that took half an hour to get right. It’s much longer that it was a few months ago and has only gone through a few small haircuts. He’s sporting a beard, tamed and neat and only there because Louis told him one day in the studio that he looked better with facial hair in between recording “Always Been You” and “100%.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Payno,” he tells him and instinctively reaches up to straighten out the collar of his shirt. He grins, lips stretched as he looks up to meet Liam’s eyes. Louis has gotten used to being this close to Liam, close enough to count his eyelashes when they touch his cheek or how many crinkles show up around his eyes when he smiles too wide.

“Excited?” Liam asks him when they’re finished staring at each other without realising it. He steps back and Louis nearly pulls him back in, but he just shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Buzzing, mate,” says Louis. From his toes to the top of his head, his body is ablaze with eagerness and he feels like he could burst any second now. “Can’t believe we’re actually doing this. Been a long year, yeah?”

Liam nods. He smiles again and looks up at the telly in the corner of the room where the interviewers are wrapping up a segment with someone else. The producer pops their head into the room and tells them they’re on in five so they take deep breaths in sync, letting out nervous chuckles.

“Let’s go take a look at the crowd, see who we have to impress,” Louis suggests, and they head out to where they can hide but still see the small audience of people. It’s small, but the energy radiating off of it makes Louis lose his breath for a second. There’s an array of people out there, some wearing “1D” printed shirts and others have signs. They seem to be shaking as much as he is and he turns back to Liam, who seems just as awestruck. “That’s for us,” he tells him.

“Us,” Liam parrots. He smiles back and within the next minute, they’re being prepared to go out on stage. When their names are called, Louis feels like he could throw up. But then they’re walking out together, side by side. He hears “Ready to Run” playing over the loud cheers of the fans in the crowd, and his heart beats frantically, like it could escape his chest.

It makes Louis’ head spin and even after all these years, he still isn’t used to this. He never will be, if he’s honest.

The interviewer, a younger woman, greets them and they intuitively sit hip to hip on a sofa big enough for three.

The interview goes on for what feels like hours, Louis speaking when spoken to and a few extra times when his and Liam’s words knock into each other and get tangled. They’re nervous, but they’re smiling the entire time as they answer questions about One Direction, when they decided to get together and do this, why they wanted to do this. Louis finds himself just telling her that they’re going solo, just together.

They both answer questions about the album, about the songs, and the production. It happens so fast, and once rumours are settled and questions are answered, the interviewer questions them about the title of the album.

“One Hundred Percent,” Liam says, looking over at Louis briefly with a smile before he turns back to the woman. “I think—I think that’s just what we put into it. This is our first time actually doing something like this, and even though it was just something for fun at first, we put our all into it. One hundred percent effort. One hundred percent us.”

Louis’ staring at Liam’s lips when he shouldn’t be, but he can’t help it when they move as fluidly as they do. They aren’t chapped anymore, but somewhere deep down he tells himself that’s no excuse to not be able to kiss them anyway.

The interviewer nods her head, but Louis lifts his hand to add something to Liam’s statement. “And, I just think, that maybe it sort of represents us. Just us two? Maybe how much closer we’ve been since we started. How much we’ve been there for each other,” he tells her and earns a small coo in response. “Best mates being there for each other, one hundred percent. One hundred and ten, if you want honesty,” he adds on, grinning at Liam now. He can’t quite take his eyes off of him anymore.

“Definitely,” Liam says then, staring back at Louis and for a second, Louis thinks they’ve forgotten they’ve got an interview to finish off.

The interview ends with the mention of their single coming out in a week and Louis would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy about it being “Replay.” It’s the best on the album, he thinks. Liam agrees, he knows he does, because they spent an entire night in Liam’s room listening to the final product over and over again.

When they’re finally off stage, Louis lets out a loud, ecstatic laugh as he pulls Liam into a hug. “It’s happening, Payno, you and me!” he tells him, nearly climbing up on him when Liam hugs him back. He refrains, though, and just pulls back to grin up at him.

“We should celebrate, then,” Liam says.

Louis can’t quite turn that offer down.

 

* * *

 

Louis and Liam invite Zayn, Harry, Niall, and everyone else who’s been there for them through this entire album out for drinks. Liam, of course, drags them all to the Funky Buddha, and gets congratulated by the owner as soon as they get there.

Liam and Louis pose for a few pictures together before they go off to drink and dance and _celebrate_. Nearing midnight, Louis is proper pissed, and he’s dancing in a crowd of people he doesn’t even know before he spots Liam a few feet away, being squished between two people. He laughs to himself, hiccupping before he goes to his rescue. He grabs him, tugging him to the outskirts of the crowd.

“Don’t worry, Leem, I’ve got you,” Louis slurs, his hands holding both of Liam’s. They exchange smiles and Louis goes back to dancing a little with Liam, swaying them to the beat of the music playing.

“My hero,” Liam teases, voice thick with alcohol. Louis giggles drunkenly, pressing his face into Liam’s shoulder. He feels Liam’s arm snake around his waist and it keeps him there pressed against his chest.

“We should ask them to play our song,” Louis snickers. He feels Liam’s laugh rumble in his chest and pulls back to look at him. They dance like that, wearing lopsided grins as the space around them fills with more people. Louis is so close to Liam again. He wonders if Liam can feel the way he’s shaking a little from where he’s pressing his cold fingers into the small of Louis’ back underneath his shirt.

They don’t say anything for a while, and Louis doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to speak, or move away, or leave from where he’s pressed up to Liam. For a moment, it’s by force because someone is behind them, but he doesn’t even budge when the space around them has cleared a bit.

It isn’t until he hears Harry’s drunken shouts over the music does he finally tear his eyes from Liam’s. To his left, he sees Niall and Harry, more pissed than ever, and tumbling over to him and Liam. Harry looks like Bambi learning to walk and Niall doesn’t look any better when they finally stumble in front of them.

“Think—” Harry hiccups, “—think we’re going to go. ‘Twas a lovely night, lads, congrats on the album,” he slurs and Niall waves at them, too busy giggling into Harry’s neck. Zayn comes from somewhere to drag them off, saying the missus wants him home and his goodbyes before they’re on their way.

Louis laughs, waving them goodbye before he makes to turn back to Liam and say something snarky, but Liam is a lot closer than Louis thought, and well. The next thing Louis knows he’s kissing Liam. Or Liam’s kissing. He’s unsure, but there is kissing.

Their lips are pressed against each other for a brief second, and Louis’ eyes are open to see that Liam’s are closed. There’s some old Maroon 5 song playing, there’s people around them, they’re _kissing,_ and Louis can’t breathe.

Louis freezes for what feels like years but he knows it has to be five seconds at most. When he pulls back, his lips are on fire and his cheeks are fast to accompany them as he looks up at Liam with wide eyes.

“Uh,” he chokes out and realisation of what just happened must hit Liam because his eyes widen, too. He peels himself from Louis and lets out a small choked noise before he’s gone, walking away from Louis as fast as he can.

Louis is about to melt. He doesn’t know what just happened or _why_ , but he feels a bit silly for freezing up when something that’s been on his mind for _months_ finally happened. It’s almost as if he’s a teen again and he doesn’t even look to see if anyone saw them at first. He just stands there, then finally looks around to see that everyone else is too pissed to notice or care.

When the feeling returns to his legs, he walks out, calling for a taxi. He need to get out of there. He isn’t sure if Liam’s left or decided to stay until Louis left, but he can’t bring himself to find out. He climbs in the taxi as soon as it pulls up to the curb and goes home.

As soon as he gets home, he heads to the bedroom and buries himself under his blankets. There’s nobody and nothing to hide from in the privacy of his own home except the ghost of the feeling of Liam’s lips on his own that’s been following him ever since he left the club.

 

* * *

 

Louis wakes up to three missed calls from Liam.

His head is pounding and he has to read his phone at least ten times before Liam’s name goes from _Lime_ to _Liam_. Something in his gut is actually telling him not to call back, maybe wait a week before he does anything to get in touch with him, but then guilt replaces that feeling before he finally dials Liam’s number.

He calls twice. The first time, it goes to voicemail, and he actually listens to the entire thing, Liam’s voice making the throb of his head go down a bit whilst he says, “Sorry I couldn’t answer the phone, I’ll get back to you soon.”

The second time, Liam answers with a groggy, “Hello?”

“Hey,” Louis says quietly, his voice slightly scratchy as he sits up in bed. He’s still wearing the clothes he had on the night before. “It’s Louis.” He flinches after this, face scrunching up because Liam knows that and he’s just saying unnecessary things to keep from getting to the purpose of the call.

“’Lo,” Liam answers. His voice sounds broken and Louis cringes. He hopes he didn’t do that to him. “Can we meet up today?”

Louis swallows thickly. A side of him, the idiot side, the side that would taunt a snarling dog, wants to say no. But he knows he can’t, so he takes a deep breath before he agrees. On the other line, he can hear Liam exhaling almost of relief and he hums back. “Noon?” he suggests, then Liam chuckles.

“It is noon,” Liam tells him. Louis stifles a laugh.

“Well, shit,” huffs Louis. “Come over to mine, then?”

When Liam mumbles his promise of being there soon, they say their goodbyes before Louis hangs up and stumbles out of bed. The room is still spinning and he lugs himself to the bathroom to take some paracetamol to dull the pain in his head.

He showers quickly, spending half his time with his head against the tiled wall before he gets any actual cleaning done. He sits on his toilet with a towel wrapped around his waist for a bit of time, too, and doesn’t realise it until he hears the door downstairs opening and closing, then his name being called out by an all too familiar voice.

Louis nearly trips pulling on his joggers and a shirt to go meet Liam downstairs.

“Hey,” Louis says when he sees him. “What’s up, mate?”

Liam looks as if he’s been thinking too much, too hard. It’s the look on his face that he gets when they spend too long trying to figure out a song. Louis’ grown some sort of resentment for it because whenever that look is on his face, Liam grows sullen and upset for a brief amount of time until Louis manages to make him smile again.

“Just wanted to—” Liam pauses, looking nervous. “Wanted to apologise.”

Louis feels something catch in his throat. A lump of nerves, maybe, or the words _there’s nothing to apologise for._ But, he doesn’t say anything. He just shoves his hands into the pockets of his joggers, fingers toying with lint inside of them as he shrugs.

“S’fine, mate, we were pissed as hell,” he tells him quietly, looking down as he kicks at the floor. “No harm done, yeah?”

Watching Liam deflate, Louis walks up to him and nudges him with his elbow. “Stop looking so glum, now,” he says. “Hate it when you look like a sad puppy.” Louis bites back an _even though it makes you look cute._ Not the time, nor place, he thinks.

“Alright,” Liam says. He nods, like he’s trying to convince himself it _is_ all right.

“Alright,” Louis echoes.

Louis wonders to himself if everything is actually alright.

 

* * *

 

Liam and Louis forget the kiss in as little time as possible. At least Louis tries to. He knows they have big things coming up, knows they can’t be distracted by things like that, so he pushes the memory to the back of his mind for the next month. Their schedule for the month is intense: the release of their first single, more promo interviews, more questions on what compelled Liam and Louis to bring back what they had from One Direction and use it for themselves. Louis’ not got  _time_ to think.

Along the way, Louis’ answers to questions like _Do you think you’ll do anything else together in the future?_ go from, “Not quite sure,” to, “As long as Liam is by my side, I’ll do anything.”

In one interview, an old interview is brought up. Louis thinks it’s the one that changes everything completely for him.

“So, Liam,” the interviewer is saying, earning a hum from Liam, “we have this old magazine article. We did some digging around, and you were asked how it felt being able to lean on your bandmates, asked your opinion on Justin Bieber as well.”

Liam laughs this off, but he nods and waits for them to continue. Louis is watching intensely, because he can’t recall this specific interview, but he wants to know what Liam said and if it differs from anything now.

“You said you felt sorry for him, because he was alone, but then added, ‘If something bad happened to me tomorrow, Louis would be there for me one hundred percent. People sometimes ask if I want to be a solo artist, but it just wouldn’t be any fun being on your own,’ end quote. Is that what this is? Why your album is named what it is? Why you two decided on each other instead of anyone else that was in the band?”

Louis’ chest tightens and he’s certain his eyes are shining as he looks at Liam for an answer, too. There’s something tugging at the strings of his heart and he thinks he won’t be able to talk for the rest of the interview without his voice crumbling.

“I never really thought back to that,” Liam finally says, seemingly refusing to meet Louis’ eyes. He’s looking at the interviewer instead, shrugging again. “But I guess you can look at it that way. Louis and I—we always had something special, and I say that without trying to sound odd at all,” he continues and the interviewers laugh. “And every time someone asked me if I’d go solo, I’d always think of Louis and think, ‘well, yeah, I’d go solo with Louis.’ Defeats the whole purpose of going solo, though, if you’re with someone else, yeah?”

They laugh again, but Louis stays silent, watching Liam closely because he never knew any of that. Liam never bothered to tell him how he felt about what they’d do after One Direction, _if_ they’d do anything after One Direction. Guilt seeps back into his stomach when he thinks over the look on Liam’s face when he told him they were better off without each other. He thinks of how hard he fought to keep Louis from walking away, from leaving him alone and saying he didn’t need him.

His heart is breaking and swelling all at the same time.

Louis manages to say goodbye at the end of the interview before they go backstage and get ready to leave. Liam is silent too, avoiding Louis’ gaze before Louis finally builds up the nerve to step in front of Liam and stop him from gathering his things.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of that, ever?” he asks, voice straining.

“What?” Liam says, sharply.

“All of what you just said out there, Liam,” Louis says. He’s slightly frustrated. He’s frowning too because Liam’s lips are in a tight line like he suddenly doesn’t want to talk. “Liam, if I did something to upset you, tell me. It isn’t fair to say all of that out there then not explain yourself to me back here.”

“I’m not upset,” Liam insists.

Louis huffs, frustrated. “Fine,” he tells him. He doesn’t have the energy to bicker with Liam right now, he’ll just do it later. But his heart is arguing with his mind as he walks off to get his things together.

He doesn’t speak to Liam for the rest of the day and he goes out to dinner with Harry and Niall later on. He’s only slightly hazy when he tries to speak with them. But Liam is badgering him all night even though he’s not even there. He’s always on Louis’ mind.

Louis and Liam are halfway to the top of the world, and it’s all about to come crashing down if he doesn’t fix anything soon.

 

* * *

 

Halfway to the top of the world is definitely an underestimate. They are _there_ before their album is even released, and Louis hasn’t been dealt with this since the end of One Direction. Their fame from the band never truly died out and even after the end, new fans kept coming and hoping for a reunion concert that they could attend. This isn’t quite it, but it’s something, and whenever Liam and Louis leave a building together, there are fans outside waiting to meet them.

Their single is at number one, too. Louis will be driving and find it wild to hear his and Liam’s song on the radio. Never in a million years did he think he’d have something like this, not again, and not with Liam either. But the feeling is amazing and he doesn’t want it to go away.

Louis hasn’t really spoken to Liam in about a week, though, and his heart aches. He’s beginning to miss making Liam smile and smiling because of Liam. They’ve seen each other for business and such, but not really much more. He convinces himself that it’s just them breathing for a bit before the real storm begins when the album gets released.

They have a small private concert planned in London just before the album release date, and tickets are already sold out. Louis is excited, but he just wants himself and Liam to be _into_ it. The night of the concert, Louis can finally breathe again when Liam actually sends him a smile.

“Pumped up,” Liam says to him when they’re backstage. They’d called a few of the old band members up, so Sandy and Josh are out getting ready. There’s a tiny sea of fans waiting to hear a few exclusive tracks from the album before anyone else, and Louis is nervous and excited all in one.

“Definitely more than that,” he replies, gut lurching. “Hope this goes well.”

Liam nods in agreement and, to Louis’ surprise, pulls him into a tight hug. Louis ignores the way his body screams _home_ as Liam holds him close.

“Glad we’re doing this, Lou,” he hears Liam say quietly. Louis’ arms are wrapped around Liam’s middle and he doesn’t want to let go, but has to when they’re called, meant to be going on stage in five minutes.

“So am I, Leem,” Louis tells him, and he is. He doesn’t want any complications, no rows, no tears. He just wants him and Liam, happy together like they’ve always been, for the most part.

They go on stage, hands crashing into each other’s as they stand close and watch the crowd go wild for them. It’s all for _them_.

Going from Point A to Point B seems like such a rush to Louis and he’s sure he spends too long getting lost in the way Liam’s eyes shine at the crowd. He watches the way he caresses the microphone stand, tipped forward on his stool as he puts his heart into every single song they sing for the first time in front of a large crowd. Louis is going to go back and watch this all on video and feel so embarrassed because he spends more time singing to Liam than he does to the crowd. It’s over too soon and he has to tear his eyes from Liam to say goodbye to their fans before they’re gone, backstage with the concert high surging through their veins.

Backstage, everything is moving fast and voices are a mixed up mess and everyone is telling them how great the show was, how well they did, but as soon as Louis gets back in front of Liam, it’s all over for him.

Louis pulls him back into his arms, holding him tight with arms wrapped around him like a vice.

“I don’t want this to end,” he finds himself murmuring. He isn’t sure where it comes from but he says it and he means it and he needs Liam to know that. When Liam’s arms wrap around him too, he thinks he does.

“Won’t end,” Liam assures him. “Not until you want it to.”

Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever want anything close to the end.

 

* * *

 

 _One Hundred Percent_ goes number one. It’s something Louis should be used to, with four number one albums already, but that was with an entire band. He’s just with Liam, now.

He was nervous the entire day when it was released but then good reviews started pouring in and he was so damn happy. He spent that day with Liam at Liam’s place coddling each other with nerves and anticipation.

“Listen to this,” Liam is saying as Louis sits in Liam’s wardrobe, rummaging through his things to entertain himself. “’Ex-One Direction members, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson, have created a new name for themselves. With the release of their album _One Hundred Percent_ already number one on iTunes, they’re quickly climbing their way back up to stardom. Their songs have left behind the boy band aura and have a very mature, elegant sound to them now. This duo is definitely going to be the centre of attention for quite some time.’ Shit, Lou, all of this already? This is absolutely mad.”

Louis is busy throwing dirty socks out of his way and looking at a few pictures stored in a shoebox at the back of Liam’s wardrobe when Liam is finished talking. He hums back at him, smiling at a baby photo of Liam. “It’s bloody fantastic, I know,” he tells Liam and moves on to a different, older shoebox in the corner of the wardrobe. He’s sure his voice is muffled, and Liam may barely be able to hear him, but he doesn’t bother to repeat himself.

“What’re you doing in there?” Liam calls to him.

“Being nosey, what else would I be doing?”

Louis hears Liam laugh in response, and nothing else besides the tapping sound of Liam’s iPhone keyboard. He goes back to digging around, and he frowns in confusion when he finds a notebook in the shoebox he opens. It’s old; the edges are frayed and there are a few coffee rings stains on the front cover. He feels like he should leave it be, like it could be private, but he can’t stop himself from opening the book and looking inside.

 _Songs about you._ That’s what’s on the first page, written sloppily, and nothing else. Louis feels a slight chill run across his body as he flips to another page. He reads over the words on the page, and his heart begins to ache. It’s a song about heartbreak. His hand hesitates before he flips to another page. A song about being in love, so in love, but there’s pain behind each of the words.

Louis reads more in the notebook, and he feels so _sad_ all of a sudden. Each one of the songs in the book is one about pain, or losing someone, or breakups, or just something generally heartbreaking. Louis needs to know when and why Liam ever felt the need to express pain this way, why he didn’t think he could talk to someone out loud instead of writing down what he was feeling and stuffing it into the back of his wardrobe. He wonders if maybe he can create a time machine to go back and stop Liam from ever feeling that way.

There are pages that are wrinkled and rough, like there’s been liquid spilt on them in the past. Some smell of aged liquor and others don’t. Louis hopes it wasn’t Liam’s tears.

He stumbles upon a line that he recognises immediately. It’s in the song their album is named after. _It’s always been you, always will be you, one hundred percent_.

Louis’ heart clenches in his chest. His mind immediately goes to Sophia, and he wonders if all of these songs are about her. He knows Liam loved her, and when he brought her up that one night, there was nothing but heartache written on his face. Louis wants to hold Liam and never let him go if he still isn’t over Sophia, or needs her back in any way.

“Hey,” comes Liam’s voice from behind him and he jumps, dropping the book in his lap as he looks back at Liam. He’s frowning and when he sees the notebook in Louis’ lap, his frown deepens. “Lou, what the hell are you doing with that?”

Liam bends down and nicks it from his lap, closing it and looking almost angry. “Do you have to go through everything that doesn’t have to do with you?”

Louis stands up, facing Liam as he makes a choked noise in his throat. He doesn’t know what to say, and he’s so used to feeling guilty for doing something to Liam at this point. “I—I didn’t mean to. Liam, c’mon,” he says, voice small.

“You never ‘mean to,’ but you always do it anyway,” Liam tells him bitterly. Louis frowns deeply at him.

“Liam, I’m sorry, I was just curious—”

“Curiosity killed the bloody cat, Louis,” Liam spits.

Louis all but cowers when Liam walks back over to his bed. He’s at a loss for words. He hasn’t seen Liam this upset since—well, _then_.

So. He leaves.

Not knowing what else to do other than apologise over and over, Louis leaves. His heart is heavy in his chest as he mumbles a goodbye to Liam, and leaves for home. He drives home and doesn’t bother to answer any of the _good job, mate!_ or _the album sounds great, great job :)_ messages he has on his phone from friends and family members.

He was meant to spend the night celebrating with Liam, but it’s gone to shit now, and it’s all his fault.

 

* * *

 

Louis is quite dumb. He admitted that to himself a while ago, but, well, he’s really quite dumb.

And maybe, only maybe, it was an awfully stupid decision to try and get in touch with Sophia after not speaking to Liam for an entire week. He doesn’t see him, they don’t have any interviews scheduled, or any meetings, so they spend an entire week apart from each other. Louis is full of guilt for the entire seven days before he finally thinks he has the solution.

It’s most of the reason why he has Sophia sat down with him in a secluded corner of a coffee shop at the edge of London.

“So, hello,” he says timidly after a few moments of awkward silence. He smiles at Sophia nervously and stirs around his tea with a spoon.

“Hello,” Sophia replies. She sounds a bit wary and he wonders when she’ll start regretting her decision to come. “I’m not quite sure what I’m doing here, if I’m honest,” she says next and Louis forces a small chuckle.

“I just need to talk to you,” he tells her, watching the whirlpool in his cup. “It’s about Liam, actually.”

Louis watches Sophia tense up, but then she puts on a tight smile as she nods her head. “Congratulations on the album,” she says graciously. “I’m quite proud of you and Liam, you both deserve the best.”

“Right!” Louis pulls back a little and sighs. “I just—you’re right. Liam deserves the best. And, well, he’s been awfully upset lately and I just think—think it might have something to do with you.”

Sophia’s brows furrow and Louis chews nervously on the inside of his cheek. He sits silently and waits, but she’s thinking deeply, it seems. Louis goes to hurry her on, or say she doesn’t have to sit here with him if she doesn’t want to, but she doesn’t let him.

“Me?” she says finally. “Liam upset because of me?”

“Yeah, well—” Louis starts, then huffs. “If you don’t mind me asking, why’d you two break up? I don’t mean to be invasive, but he never told me. I think it’d help me a lot to know.”

Sophia hums. She takes her own cuppa and sips from it, leaving a lipstick stain on the lip of the cup. “Tell me why you’re so worried first,” she requests.

Louis gives a small pout, but he just nods, swallowing down something in his throat. “Please, if you speak to Liam again, don’t tell him I’m telling you this,” he pleads. “But, I found a book of songs. Songs that might possibly be about you. They’re all terribly sad, Sophia, and I just want him to be okay if he’s not right now.”

“Oh,” Sophia says, then, “ _Oh_.”

“Oh?” Louis repeats, frowning.

“I—I really don’t think it’s my place to tell you, but I know which songs you’re talking about and—” She pauses.

“And?” Louis drawls out.

“And I broke up with Liam because of those songs—because he was in love with someone else.”

Louis freezes. His voice catches in his throat as he looks at Sophia. He feels terrible and embarrassed and he doesn’t know who else Liam could’ve possibly been in love with that wasn’t Sophia, but—

“Who?” he finally asks.

Sophia grimaces guiltily. “You.”

A noise escapes Louis’ throat. He almost knocks over his tea as he just watches Sophia. She looks apologetic and sympathetic all at once and Louis hates it.

“Well, uh,” he says, standing, “I’m sorry for wasting your time, Sophia, I’ll leave you be now.” He forces out his words before he’s gone, barely getting his feet to carry him to his car as his mind and heart race against each other.

Liam is _in love with him_ , or at least he was. He was in love with him and his heart isn’t agreeing with his mind at all. He feels sick, but then there’s a bit of spark in his belly that’s screaming at him to go see Liam, go kiss him like they did that night at Funky Buddha, but better. Everything that’s happened over the past year, like that time he sang a love song off their album _right_ at Liam, or the numerous times he felt the need to have Liam’s lips against his, is making his mind buzz and before he knows it, he’s climbing out of his car and walking up to Liam’s door, knocking on it with trembling hands.

When Liam answers, every word sitting in his throat gets stuck.

“Uh,” is what Liam says after seeing Louis on his doorstep.

“I talked to Sophia.” Word vomit. Not good.

Louis sees the colour drain from Liam’s face and he ceases his hand when it tries to go up and hit the colour back into its proper place.

“Why’d you do that?” Liam questions. Louis takes the moment to shove Liam inside and close the door behind them.

“Because you look like a fucking kicked puppy all of the time, Liam,” Louis huffs. It comes out angrier than he means it to be but he’s overflowing with too many emotions that he hasn’t felt in so long. He feels sick, feels happy, feels sad, and angry and everything all at once. “Because I thought those songs were about her and—and they’re not, are they?”

Liam stays silent.

“They’re not, are they, Liam?” he repeats, harsher this time. Liam shakes his head. Louis wants to kiss him. Louis wants to kiss him, wants to hit him, wants to cry into his chest and say _sorry_ over and over until he gets it through his thick skull. He feels so, so guilty.

“When did you write them?” he asks much softer now.

“After you left,” Liam murmurs. “After you left me.”

Louis _left him._

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? God, Liam, what the hell?” Louis steps closer to Liam. He forces him to look him in the eye, and he sees Liam’s eyes glossing over, wet at the corners.

“Because you were bloody angry with me, what else did you want me to do? I was hurt, just like you’d been for a year, because you didn’t want anything to do with me, so I gave you the space you clearly wanted, and I just—it really fucking hurt.” Liam lets out a bitter chuckle that cuts Louis like glass as he bites back a sad noise. “But then you came back. You let me back in, and so I put the book away. You didn’t need to see it—I didn’t even want to see it after you came back. You weren’t angry anymore and neither was I, so I just—just buried everything else until I kissed you and you didn’t kiss back and you found the book and everything. It’s shit.”

“Do you love me?” Louis asks when he doesn’t quite mean to. “As more than a friend?”

Liam seems hesitant, but eventually, he stammers out a, “Yeah, yeah I do. A lot.”

“And all of those songs?”

“They’re about you, Louis. It’s always been you,” Liam says quietly and Louis is about to explode. He wants to hit Liam, then maybe hit himself. “Always was you that I wanted to have a life with after One Direction, after everything. But then you—you distanced yourself from me and it broke my heart. Then I went and probably broke Sophia’s—I’m an idiot. You’re an idiot. We’re both idiots.”

Louis really, really is an idiot. “I’m sorry,” he whispers quietly.

“I am, too,” Liam responds.

They stand silently for a moment, and Louis watches Liam. Watches the same face he’s been watching for a year. Sees how sad Liam looks and remembers how bad his heart breaks whenever that look is on Liam’s face. He thinks of how many times he’s wanted to kiss Liam, how many times Louis had held his hand and never wanted to let go, how many times he never questioned the uneven, quick beat of Liam’s heart whenever they were cuddled alone on the floor of the studio.

He thinks of how much he’s fallen in love with Liam and didn’t even realise it. He didn’t even realise it until now when Liam is standing over him with a broken heart. A broken heart at the hands of Louis. God, he’s been such an idiot about this.

“I love you,” Louis finally says, and he hears Liam choke on a gasp. “I—I love you, Liam.”

Louis has done a lot of stupid things in his lifetime. He’s done a lot of stupid things with Liam, like getting chased by wild dogs and getting their first tattoos together on a whim and _going solo_ with him. But, he supposes it’s not quite stupid if he leans up and kisses Liam like he means it this time.

It takes all of Louis not to melt when he does, and somewhere in the back of his mind he can hear Liam’s voice singing all those love songs to him, singing _their_ songs to him. He keeps it all, locks it in a box, because it’s something he doesn’t want to lose. He just doesn’t need it now, not when he’s on top of the world with Liam and kissing him—he’s _kissing_ him, and this time it doesn’t need to end. At least not until their lungs grow weak and desperate for air, but even then, Louis tells them to be patience and wait until he’s gotten all he needs.

“Am I selfish for wanting you as much as I do?” he hears Liam ask, breath hot against his lips.

“A bit,” he whispers back, eyes still closed as he searches for Liam’s lips again. “But it’s fine. I’m just as selfish.”

“We’re weird,” Liam says then, and yeah, they are, just a bit.

“We’ll work on it,” Louis replies.

If kisses could fix things in an instant, they’d be one hundred percent perfect.

 

* * *

 

“A Grammy, Lou, a bloody Grammy!”

Louis is on fucking fire. There’s a golden— _golden_ _—_ Grammy in one arm and Liam in his other and he feels like he could take over the world. They’re in a room of other acclaimed musicians and winners and Louis feels so small, yet so big, and their Grammy winning song “Top Of The World” is playing and people are dancing to his and Liam’s song— _their song._

“Nothing can get better than this,” Louis says, but he’s staring up at Liam and the crinkles by his eyes and trying to figure out the _exact_ shade of pink that his cheeks are.

“Well, maybe,” Liam says, then steals a kiss from Louis, making his chest swell as he holds him right there against his lips. “Maybe that, yeah?”

“Replay,” is all that Louis replies with, grinning wickedly before they’re kissing again. There’s a few flashes of a camera that go off but he doesn’t care, just smiles wider against Liam’s lips before pulling back to smile up at him.

“Keep this PG, Tommo,” Liam teases and Louis reaches up to pinch his nipple through his tux.

“Wanker,” he says, then pulls out his phone so he can snap a picture of them, his lips on Liam’s cheek and their Grammy in the shot. He doesn’t feel quite bad when he tweets it out with the caption _@zaynmalik @harry_styles @niallofficial jealous lads ?_

“You’re horrible,” Liam says from over his shoulder, fingers pinching Louis’ side.

Louis just shrugs, giving him a lopsided smirk. “Feel like going to the hotel so I can suck you off?” he ask unexpectedly.

He catches the way Liam’s cheeks flush, but also the small nod he gives before they sneak out of the Grammy After Party, calling a taxi to take them back to their hotel. Louis would be lying if he said he didn’t just want to suck Liam off then and there, but he doesn’t want to give the driver a hard time, so he resorts to just letting his hand rest on top of Liam’s trousers.

“Lou, c’mon,” Liam laughs breathlessly. He tries to swat Louis’ hand away, but Louis just puts it right back, smiling cheekily up at him before attaching his lips to his birthmark.

“We just won a Grammy, Payno, let me have my fun,” he tells him, but Liam’s been letting him have his fun for a year now. Fun in studios, the toilets of unfortunate KFC’s, and most of the time, thankfully, in Liam’s bedroom ever since Louis definitely-indefinitely moved in with him.

He’s almost ready to pull Liam’s cock from his trousers, but the taxi driver coughs from the front seat, blatantly on purpose, so Louis huffs childishly before sitting back and deciding to actually behave.

“Boring,” he says, and Liam leans over to kiss him again.

“Be good,” Liam orders and Louis bats his eyelashes playfully, “Yes, Sir.”

As soon as they’re at the hotel, though, Louis isn’t good at all. He’s dashing into the building, not worrying if Liam can keep up at not. Once he’s got Liam in their hotel room, he presses him up against the door and kisses him hard. There’s tongue and teeth and a bit of moaning, but Louis is on a high and there’s a Grammy somewhere on the floor and he wonders if he could get Liam to come inside of it.

“Want to come in the Grammy?” he asks before he can stop himself. Liam scoffs and bites at his bottom lip. “Right, yeah, we’re classy,” he says then, giggling a bit as they move in a frenzy to get their clothes off. “You’re _awful_.”

“Christ, you’re an animal,” Liam huffs when Louis gets them in their pants and shoves him onto the bed, bracketing his hips with his thighs. Louis cants his hips into Liam’s and raises a brow when he feels Liam’s cock twitch under his pants.

“You love it, yeah?” Louis murmurs, leaning down to suck a mark right next to Liam’s birthmark. He soaks in the feeling of his lips against Liam’s skin. It’s something he’ll never get used to because Liam is his and he’s Liam’s and whenever he gets the chance, he kisses the beats of their songs into intimate places on Liam’s body. He relishes in it each time, never wants to not be able to do it.

He thinks of the time he wasn’t able to, and it stings a bit, but they live in the moment instead, the moment where Liam writhes under Louis’ lips as they travel down his body. They love the moments like this, when Louis is dragging his tongue across the tattoo on his hip that says _where ever you are_ in Louis’ handwriting to match the one on Louis’ hip, _is the place I belong_ in Liam’s. It was probably a stupid idea to get them, but neither of them regret it.

Louis peels Liam’s pants off and takes his cock into his hand, stroking it languidly as he licks at the steadily leaking head, watching the way Liam’s face contorts above him.

“How do you look so—fuck—so bloody fond with a cock in your mouth?” Liam grunts when Louis drops his mouth down a bit further onto his cock, letting out a few noises he wouldn’t admit to being close to whimpers. Louis hums a laugh around his cock, slowly licking at the slit in a way he knows Liam likes it.

Louis skates his hands up Liam’s thighs and holds his hips down, thumb digging into his tattoo, when Liam starts to jut his hips up. Closing his eyes, he hums again, savouring how heavy Liam’s cock is on his tongue whilst he slides his hand up and down his length.

“Shit,” Liam says, and Louis makes an aggravated sound in his throat when Liam pulls on his hair and brings him off of his dick. “Don’t want to come. Can you—can you ride me?”

“’Course, darling,” says Louis sweetly as he crawls off the bed and over to their suitcases where they’ve stored lube and condoms. He doesn’t bother with the condom this time, way beyond trusting Liam, and it’s a night where he wants to feel all of Liam.

He returns to Liam, slapping his hand from where it’s around his cock as he shimmies from his pants and straddles his hips again. “Be a gentleman and get me ready, yeah?”

Liam doesn’t say anything, but takes the lube instead and gets his fingers nice and slick. Louis gasps when he feels a thick finger press into him. He moves up Liam’s chest slightly and pushes down against him. When Liam asks, “Two?” Louis nods and claws at Liam’s chest when the familiar stretch makes his body jump.

“Christ,” he mumbles, then feels Liam sit up a little and a wet mouth around his nipple. “Hurry up, then, Li,” he tells him and Liam finishes stretching him open, then gets his cock wet with lube.

“Move when you’re ready, ‘kay?” Liam tells him gently. They kiss, and relaxes as he reaches behind to guide Liam’s cock to his hole. With a deep breath, he sinks down and gasps against Liam’s mouth. He feels Liam’s tongue slide against his own and he lets out a deep moan when he finds himself settled completely against Liam’s lap, Liam’s cock deep inside of him.

“So full, fuck,” Louis whines, rolling his hips. He feels Liam’s arms wrap around his waist and he drapes his own over his shoulders as he slowly lifts his hips, then drops back down with a moan.

“Feels good, Lou, you’re doing so good.” At the encouragement, Louis goes fast, fucking himself on Liam’s cock and looking down at him with heavy eyes. He feels sweat break above his brow and lets out a high noise when he feels Liam’s finger prod against his hole where his cock is moving in and out slowly, nice and deep.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Louis howls when Liam’s cock rubs against his prostate. He wraps a hand around himself, whispering something between curses and Liam’s name. This is the feeling Louis is so familiar with, the feeling that their Grammy award winning song came from when Liam fucked him for the first time, coddling him and making him feel so _alive_ , so on top of the world.

“C’mere,” Liam says after a few moments and flips them over, making sure Louis’ legs are wrapped around his waist before he fucks into him, hips going hard enough to make Louis slide up the bed slightly.

Louis cries out, and comes without caution, three long streaks of his cum on their stomachs. His back arches slightly and he feels like crying in a good way when Liam doesn’t stop. He keeps fucking him and Louis watches him, vision white around the edges. “Come on, Liam, come for me,” he urges and lets out a broken giggle as the last waves of his orgasm hit him. Liam buries head in Louis’ neck, hips thrusting once, twice, and three more time before he comes and fills Louis up.

Their pants fill the room and Louis kisses across Liam’s shoulder, fingers tracing the sharp edges of the arrows on his arm.

“How’s that for a celebration,” he laughs when Liam pulls out and falls besides him.

“Wait.” Liam is still breathing heavily, but he climbs out of bed. “I’ve got one more thing.”

Louis whines and tries to get him to come back, but instead, he just pulls the duvet over him and watches Liam pull his pants back on and go to dig around in the pocket of his trousers. He picks up the Grammy next, and Louis can’t see anything, but he hears a clink before Liam is back and crawling into bed with him. “I was, uh, going to do this at the party. In front of everyone, but that was probably a bad idea anyways, and then you offered a blowie, and well—”

Liam seems nervous and Louis just kisses him to get him to stop rambling.

“Get on with it, Payne,” he says and Liam laughs.

“Okay,” he says, then, “Louis. I—I love you. You know I do, and, well, I could go on about it all day, but I think this would just be a lot easier?”

Liam slides him the Grammy, something clinking around on the inside and Louis frowns in confusion. He flips it over, and gasps when a ring falls out.

“I don’t want to be alone, ever,” Liam starts up again, swallowing nervously. “And you’ve done so well at making sure I wasn’t these past few years. I know we’ve been through a lot, and you’re mad as hell, and sometimes, loving you makes me feel insane. Like, sometimes I can barely breathe when I’m around you and every song we’ve ever written together has a little bit of how you make me feel in it. And, Lou, you make me feel on top of the world, yeah? I love you. So much.

“I don’t mind if I have to be alone, Lou. You’re my other half. Always have been, it’s always been you. Together, we’re one. Always will be. Just, be one with me forever? Marry me?”

Louis’ eyes are wet. There’s tears in his eyes, threatening to spill over the edge. “Idiot,” he says, unable to keep from saying something smart. “’Course I’ll marry you, I’m not stupid.”

The grin that breaks out on Liam’s face makes Louis’ heart soar and he pulls Liam into a kiss that’s enough to keep him— _them_ —grounded forever.

 

* * *

 

Liam and Louis get married on February 2nd of 2020.

There are two of their number one albums tucked in the pockets of their tuxes.

They’ve got two rings sitting in two Grammy’s.

There are two crying mums in the crowd.

There are two crying friends holding each other’s hands (and being soothed by Zayn).

There are two hearts that have fortunately melded into one. When they kiss, there are two cameras and then some to catch Louis mumble, “Replay,” against Liam’s lips as their fists flail and bump into one another in a lame attempt to try and get a fist bump right after all of these years.

There are two halves to a whole, happily married and stuck together, one hundred percent.

**Author's Note:**

> [i'm on tumblr!](http://liamspayne.tumblr.com) [(tumblr post!)](http://liamspayne.tumblr.com/post/106718421699)


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